Breathing. It’s something we take for granted, isn’t it?

I have a terrible habit – sometimes, I forget to breathe. Okay, I never actually forget, but sometimes my breaths become short, shallow, and spaced-out. I find myself almost gasping for air because I’d been holding my breath.

I’ve also noticed that I’ve started feeling a bit claustrophobic. I’m afraid of being unable to breathe. If someone hugs me too hard or I position myself so my chest feels tight, I begin to feel panicked. Why?

Because breathing is necessary for life, and breathing requires margin.

Think of a fire. It can’t grow without air, without room to breathe. The same is true for you and me. When we find ourselves in tight spaces and places, our breathing is constricted and life begins to drain from us.

Thankfully, for most of us, this is a rare occurrence physically. But how often is it happening spiritually? How often are our lives so full that we don’t have space to breathe?

I often have stress-dreams; it’s how my brain works. My poor little brain cycles through stress by producing wild and sometimes nonsensical dreams, but these dreams always carry with them a grain of truth – they show me where in my life I’m feeling overwhelmed.

For years I’ve dreamed about work. I worked at a large church for nearly 7 years, and a smaller church for 3 years prior. During my time at the larger one, it was not uncommon for me to dream about work, down to the mundane task of setting up the small chairs in my weekend environment.

I would laugh, but it was also sad. My mind was so consumed with my vocation that even my sleep was overtaken by it. My body and soul weren’t getting space to breathe. Don’t get me wrong, I took a regular Sabbath, a rest day, and those moments were my soul gasping for air – much like my lungs gasp after I forget to breathe.

But one day of gasping does not a healthy lifestyle make.

I want to be clear – I think it is possible to have margin, space, and health in every career. I also think that this requires incredible intentionality and boundary-setting, something I did not excel at during my time in Florida.

When I left the church, I had to detox from social media. It hurt too much to see my church and my people move on without me. No one was doing anything wrong, but I was experiencing severe FOMO. I wasn’t just detoxing from social media; I was detoxing from the pace at which I had been living.

Anyone who works or volunteers at a church knows the weight of ministry. Without the right boundaries and priorities, ministry can be all-consuming.

I didn’t have the right boundaries or priorities. I didn’t know what I liked or disliked, what I enjoyed doing for fun. I was pursuing a grad degree while working 40-50 hour weeks. I didn’t have time for fun.

Moving to Georgia to nanny for my aunt was a complete change of pace. I went from Zoom meetings and Sunday assignments to toddler time and housekeeping. I remember quipping about how I had gone from a pastor and a director to finding pride in mopping the floor during naptime!

Yet I began to find myself feeling refreshed. Slowly, my soul began to catch up with my body. I began to have time to sit and be instead of constantly doing.

I believe I was graced for my season in Florida. It’s the only way anyone does ministry – there is a unique grace from God that equips us to do His work. I also believe that I could have, should have, done a better job creating boundaries so that my soul wasn’t so weighed down. I needed room to breathe.

The pace at which I live now is so much more manageable. I work part-time at a small boutique and spend the rest of my time writing, cleaning, and creating. I’m tapping into an area of my soul that I didn’t have much time for in my last season.

That doesn’t make my last season wrong; in fact, I believe it was very right. There are seasons and paces that the Lord leads us into and sustains us through. Had I not walked through my last season, I wouldn’t have been prepared and equipped for my current season. God’s grace sustained me then, and He is sustaining me now.

However – I am more certain than ever that we need time to breathe. Literally, physically, mentally, and emotionally. What do you do that gives you space to breathe? Is it crafting (I recently make a highland cow in a bathtub out of clay – super proud of that one)? Is it reading? Writing? Gardening? Getting outside is good for the soul. What are you doing to make sure your soul is in good condition? (I recommend the book Rhythms of Renewal by Rebekah Lyons as a way to improve your soul’s health.)

This post isn’t meant to provide the answers but to make you think. Do you have space to dream about what God wants to do in and through you? Are you operating in your gifts and talents, or are you slogging through another day at the office? It’s possible to do both, but only when God is leading you.

Whatever your season, I would ask you this – has the time run out? Because when the time runs out, the grace runs out. Don’t outlast God’s grace for your current season. If it’s time to move on, I guarantee you that God has something sweet on the other side.

In July of 2023, a good friend of mine looked me in the eye and told me I needed to be willing to leave my church if I wanted to meet a spouse. Respectfully, I disagreed. I would be at my church for the next decade, if not until the day the Good Lord brought me home.

To my surprise, I met Hunter four months later. Suddenly I was confronted with a possible change in my reality: living on a farm in the middle of southwest Lousiana. My soul began to recognize that maybe God was shifting His grace from one place to the next.

“Moses said to the Lord, “You have been telling me, ‘Lead these people,’but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, ‘I know you by name and you have found favor with me.’ ¹³ If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people.” ¹⁴ The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” ¹⁵ Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. ¹⁶ How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?” ¹⁷ And the Lord said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked,because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.” ¹⁸ Then Moses said, “Now show me your glory.” Exodus 33:12-18

The Lord caused His glory to pass in front of Moses as He prepared to lead them to a new season. I don’t know about you, but I, like Moses, don’t want to be anywhere that God is not. I want to see His glory.

I’m seeing it in this season – in and through me and the fruit He is growing in my life. I’m so grateful.

What about you? Is He showing you His glory?